Who Finished My Milk?

The youngest of the family, Mr A, has developed the habit of nursing before bed time, since he was little. Now a bright and tall handsome 3 year old, he still has the habit, except that it is now way beyond the recommended weaning age of 2 years as according to the Qur'an.

Past few months especially, I had been persuading him to stop, by saying he's now big enough to drink bottled milk. He thought about it for a while yet insisted on nursing.

Last night, I told him that there's no more milk left. He tried to nurse and then said crossly, "Mommy, who finished my milk?"

I was a bit tickled and surprised at the way he had phrased the question. But I figured it's a good chance to explain the fact that Allah s.w.t. has decided that he is a big boy now and he does not need mommy's milk.

I asked if he wanted me to make him a drink and he nodded. It was such a relief to finally be able to convince him to wean off. He did cuddle up for comfort but I guess he will grow out of it soon.

That's Mr A. Determined and alert.

Earlier that day, my dad had just sent me a video of him on a motorised bike. Mr A proved to be exceptionally  precise in maneuvring it, especially when he avoided a boy who was walking right in his path.

Ask him what his ambition is. And the reply is a rocket driver.

He wants control. Definitely.

May Allah s.w.t. grant for him all the du'as that will give benefit to the universe and make his admission to Jannah easy for him inshaAllah.

Barakah = No Stress

It's the new economy where everything from food to education is just getting less and less affordable. Everyone is scrambling to secure a good future for their children. Even if it means missing their solah, Even if it means lying to their customers, colleagues or bosses. Even if it means neglecting their children's spiritual development.
 Na'udhubillahi mindhalik.

At the end of the day, all these will boil down to emotional stress, far from contentment. There is simply NO barakah.
What is it about surviving this slow economy that should really matter?

Let's recall the du'a of Prophet Ibrahim a.s. as he left his beloved wife and child in the middle of the lifeless valley. The one du'a he emphasised is so that his children perform their solah regularly. Quran 14:37

Why wasn't safety at the top of the du'a list? Or rizq?

Because he knew that when a person does solah, Allah s.w.t. will take care of all his/her other needs. When you are not with your child, Allah s.w.t. will take care of that child. Like how Allah s.w.t. took care of Prophet Ismail a.s. on the barren land. When our children are in school or hanging out with their friends, the only thing that is between Allah's protection and the devil's whisperings is solah. SubhanAllah.

May Allah s.w.t. bless us with children who dutifuly perform their solah, and remember Him wherever they are, in our presence or in our absence.

InshaAllah Ameen.

Fill Our Hearts

Today is the first day of school. A new school year. My firstborn, looking a little weary as she couldn't sleep much last night (perhaps too excited), managed to set off early for school.

I watched her through the window. DH accompanied her before he went to work. As a mother, that protective feeling drove me to keep watching till she safely got on the bus. But unlike usual days, today a different kind of du'a runs through my system. Usually I would just du'a for her safety and so that she would gain beneficial 'ilm. However, the du'a today goes like this..."Ya Allah, fill her heart with Iman and Taqwa. Let her live with the Akhlaq of Rasulullah s.a.w. whose Akhlaq is the Qur'an..."

That du'a applies to me too. I can't be an effective mother if I can't practise good akhlaq. No matter how advanced a person's knowledge is...I am only comfortable with people who are humble and honest. May Allah s.w.t. erase all the filth from our hearts and fill it with His Light....Ameen....

If Our Prophet s.a.w Is Still With Us

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTdoy40MsHA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

A Change in Nutrition, Heart and Mind

I have not imagined that I would be making a change in nutrition this soon. A plethora of feelings...shocked, worried, angry, confused, and DRIVEN. It was a MAJOR eyeopener for me.

I was merely observing before this. One by one, among my family members, are falling ill, getting sudden conditions that almost rip their lives off.

My own body has not been showing a good sign since I was diagnosed with cholecystesis in 2009, and now the effect of the gallbladder removal surgery has scarred my digestive life forever.

And the last straw was when my dad's brother succumbed to kidney failure ten days ago. I promised myself to study nutrition and then find out how I can start practising good nutrition habits, plus spread the importance of good nutrition to my family and the rest of the society.

The 12th of August was the start of my nutrition study. So, I began my research into nutrition, and then more and more truths about the food that we are eating are exposed.

See "The Dangers of Our Everyday Food"

And then I discovered MORE about the Deception:

Mental Corruption

The New World Order has manifested in the fast food and entertainment industry. A group of 'elite' people are controlling the entertainment industry, and the group plans to poison the minds of the kids and youth through showing pornographic content and through the habit of eating junk. And if a Muslim is attacked through these ways, the heart, mind and the body of the Muslim will be destroyed, and he or she will forget Allah. This is the goal of the New World Order, for everyone to forget God (in whatever religion you are). So these elite people can implement their selfish plans.

Remember the hadeeth that mentions that the source of illness originates from the stomach. Such a concise and valuable advice for us to heed. The word 'illness' does not only refer to physical illness, but includes intellectual, and emotional.

Processed Foods VS Whole Foods

Scientists have proven that a child who is fed with processed foods before he turns three, can end up with a lower IQ than a child fed with whole foods.

And if the food is processed using evil ways as described for the meat and the chicken industry, what effect will that have to our hearts?

But all in all, this knowledge is not just to fill my curiosity. I am going to use it to my best abilities in looking after my family, and shed a light on the misled society so that we stay away from the things that may harm us.

I end this post with this hadeeth image from theecomuslim.com: Do Not Harm nor Be Harmed.

Credit: http://www.theecomuslim.com

When One Door Closes, Other Doors Open

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah...

These few weeks of not being an employed citizen of Singapore, is actually a blessing in disguise. To others, they see me as someone unemployed. But to myself, I believe I am now working more for Allah, to fulfill my mission - my long awaited mission of learning about the role models I missed at the time of the Prophet s.a.w. Yes, his family, his Sahabah, Sahabiyah...

This I believe is the emptiness that I have felt all the while. Being someone who likes to read motivational books, I often questioned myself about the relationship of the content or the tips to Islam. And I would not be able to believe or incorporate the advice suggested unless I see its relevance to attributes of Allah.

For example, one tip which I found useful in my life, is related to a Hadeeth. I could still remember this tip being articulated by Dr Fadzilah Kamsah: 

It's easier for you to pass, than to fail. Exams are meant to make you pass. A teacher will not test you on what you don't know. Allah will give you a test that you CAN PASS.
ا“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an, 2:286).

An excerpt from suhaibwebb.com from the article titled: A Soul's Burden
Even if we pray, fast, pay our zakat and do all different forms of ibadat we still get tested. Sadness sometimes fills our hearts. We could be the best of practicing Muslims, yet poor and unable to put food on our table. We could be rich yet lonely, or young yet unhealthy. It is in these instances that shaytan starts toying with our head. We look at what others have, especially the non-Muslims, and our core gets rattled. The shaytan ignites a fire that gets our blood boiling, hopelessness and frustration set in, and we ask “Oh Allah, why me?! Why am I being punished?”

This was quite similar to what I used to feel. I did ask myself if indeed this problem that I have is a punishment from Allah, and then I got depressed. But I decided to turn my feelings around completely. Instead of getting lost in these negative thoughts, I just sprang into action. Because I know there is a bigger reason why Allah gives this challenge to me: He wants to improve my quality.

I got myself into some really serious learning. I researched what I need to study about web designing. Not only using a single platform but on two different platforms. I invested some money in a course on web designing on a different platform.

Then I set up a website where I record what I find useful and relevant about the heroes and heroines during the Prophet's time. And Alhamdulillah, I made friends with people who are on the same track and we motivate one another. 

Not only that, I have also learned to do more than the basic photo editing and also make typography videos. These skills will be good to know to make video presentations, inshaAllah, as a tool to share useful knowledge.

While I don't look like someone who is contributing to the economy now, I like to see myself as building a legacy, for my children and the rest of the younger generation to benefit from. My blogs and my website, will go to them when I die. This greater awareness of the people of the past, is meaningful to me, because the trials and tribulations they have gone through are much bigger than what I am going through, yet they remained steadfast, they acted courageously, they acted wisely and they seeked Allah's help wholeheartedly.

I hope through reading what I have written, my children will be better equipped to face the challenges of the world, and be motivated to pursue success, not only in this present world, but also in the Hereafter, InshaAllah, Ameen, ameen, ameen!

Waking Up to the Verses of Allah - on TV9

Recently I had the opportunity to be staying at Aloha Resorts in Pasir Ris. One morning I woke up for my Subuh and then I was greeted with the beautiful recitation of the Quran coming from the TV set, which my mom had switched on earlier.

It was a really beautiful experience for me, watching programmes that rejuvenate the soul and to be in a bungalow which allows the ambience of nature in - the living room of the bungalow has an open room concept, so I had a good view of the trees and the beach outside.

By the way, the TV channel I was watching is called TV9, a Malaysian channel that airs educational Islamic shows. I hope this channel can be made more easily available in Singapore, because there are plenty of useful advice and knowledge that we can get from it.

Very relevant for people who spend a lot of their time watching TV and surely a better alternative to watching endless soaps and Indonesian drama series.

Anyone can help me tweak my TV to get this channel?

Picture of my dad, my niece and my daughter in the bungalow's compound @Aloha Resorts

Daydreamers' Aspirations & Reality

I had once gone for a job interview where I had to take a test. There were a few questions which asked about my actual personality - whether I daydream and whether I think daydreaming is good for me.
I find these questions very weird, as I don't see a connection between the job and daydreaming.
But I figure this may be the employer's way to assess your honesty and your creativity. I think people who daydream are actually thinking hard on a creative idea or plan. Daydreaming is beneficial if the thoughts are followed up with actions.
In the real world, however, there are many aspirations unfulfilled, not because of them not been followed up with actions, but actions that are not seen by the right people.
So if you think and feel that an idea will work, go with it, and approach the right people and the right network. Be a student to their views, and recognise your efforts with a celebration, even a tiny one.

I Don't Know My Relatives - Family Cohesiveness

How often do you meet your relatives and what do you know about them? How do you continue to maintain family cohesiveness?

I have just returned from a wedding and many things had crossed my mind as I sat watching people come and  go.

Who Is Who
There were many guests who looked familiar but I couldn't put a name to their faces. I could smile at them and greet them, but I felt so embarassed because after so many years of my parents' efforts to introduce me to them, I couldn't remember their names and how they are related to me.

People Whom We Miss Dearly
It is also during such family gatherings that I realised the people who have left us. As I saw an old man making his way through the crowd, I immediately remembered his late wife and how cheerful she always had been when we visited her each year. I too recognised a lady who had always appeared in weddings with her mother but now she will be accompanied by someone else, because her mother had passed on.
The types of attendees at the wedding:

The Old-Timers
They form the most sociable group. They basically smile at everyone and know everyone. Don't be surprised if they can still remember what you did donkey years ago, that you yourself won't remember. I wonder if I can keep such a level of camaraderie at that old age.

The Mobile Fiddlers
Those who couldn't find anything to do or anyone to talk to. They usually would be busy keeping updates on their phones or playing a game.

The Wanderers
There are two groups for this category: child and adult. Children won't sit with their parents. They will walk towards something that interests them. Adults refer to people who are trying to find something to do besides just sitting and observing.

The Mentalists
These are people who observe, and analyse the crowd, exchanging glances but not interested to proceed to conversation. They usually prefer to be approached, then making the first approach.
I wonder what will happen after the old-timers generation. Will family cohesiveness between extended family members be just a thing of the past?

How do we maintain family cohesiveness? I think there should be more interaction between relatives, particularly since everyone is using social media platforms and messaging apps like facebook and whatsapp.

Someone in the family should take on the role of being the administrator, and collects everyone's names, addresses and facebook account names. A facebook page/group can be set up specifically for uploading photos of family members at an event or any details of upcoming events. This way, relatives can participate in online discussions, but the cons of this platform is that unhappiness may arise due to misunderstandings. But the administrator can delete hurtful comments and set up a policy against that.

Maintaining family ties is a big part of our lives and we should make this an effort now, in accordance to what Islam encourages. So, shall we begin?

How to Pray @ Work

Let's be more proactive and take our prayers seriously. You'll never know when it will be your  last.

Fashion Fix: Jumpsuit Jeopardy

A follow-up to the Jumpsuit Jeopardy post, here is a sketch of how to drop the cheekaboos.

Cheerful Tuesdays: The Conquest to Rejoice in Knowledge

Today is an important day. The day when I set foot on my mission - to rejoice in knowledge.

For many months, I have been sitting at the side of the field, not being able to join the winning crowd, as my feet were tied by the fake promise.

But fate has invited me back into the winning crowd.

Who are they? People with minds dedicated to winning, to triumph over worldly nothingness.

People with a mission that is not selfish for money. People who are blessed with the joys of nature and the fruitfulness of their age. People with no time to waste on useless knowledge.

The winning crowd have not much money. They have not much status. They have not much assets and investments.

They are ordinary people who believes that their lives are not self-controlled, and everything falls into place perfectly due to the Hands of God.

The winning crowd smile in anger and rejoice in knowledge. They are not living in a dream. They live the now, and plan for the future of mankind. They put others before self, and they are often the least popular and often forgotten in the fast growing materialistic society, where having wealth and high ranks mean more than anything else.

Brands, technology, politics - terms that do not bother the winning crowd. They will win even without knowledge of these areas.

The souls of the wining crowd are heavily guarded by the unseen armies of God, through the little but continuous efforts of remembrance, of the Highest Authority.

I would like to participate, and may this membership lasts till Eternity.

Islamographic: 7 Things A Muslim Wife Won't Tell Her Husband

Brilliant infographic - the first Muslim infographic I've ever seen...
http://muslimahlifestyle.com/7-things-your-muslim-wife-wont-tell-you/

Reminders from Allah: Mersmerized Webinar

Some sisters on the other side of the Earth had a webinar, and recorded the gems from the webinar here: http://muslimahlifestyle.com/webinar-review-mesmerised/

These points are what I really need to refresh my faith now:
Tawakkal not in the money you have, but Tawakkal in Allah, when money is taken away from you.

Allah has your best interest.

Find the one that tug your string from the Mersmerized webinar pointers.

Thank you Sisters for sharing. God bless you all.

Muslimah Wardrobe Malfunction: Jumpsuit Jeopardy

It's the jumpsuit season. I am not anti-jumpsuit but I always wonder why people wear jumpsuits since it is difficult to manage if you need to go to the ladies.

For muslimah fashionistas who wear jumpsuits, two important things to note:

1. You need a jumpsuit that is lose and looks baggy. Why? Because a fitting jumpsuit will emphasize the curves on your body especially the full shape of your behind. Worse is if the jumpsuit cuts into your butt.

Forget the jumpsuit if you are pregnant. You will look really stuffed up, and uncomfortable. And the jumpsuit will look stretched on your butt.

2. Even with a baggy jumpsuit, the shape of your butt will still be obvious. So you should wear a long cardigan to hide your behind.

Do not be a fashion victim, think modesty and seek Allah to guide you in what to wear.

Tears Heart September

This heart is weeping in September

The first cry, the first sight

that I long to have right

The long wait I will fight

to have you safe, day and night

The days when I'm with you

spin in my head, is this true

You were gone in one day

 I begged God to make u stay

Impossible as it seems
You musn't slip away my dear
Whatever theories did not change
This undying hope, nothing I fear

But God took you, my little love

You belong there, a place above

September comes with an empty hand

My heart weeps... but God will mend

New Mom's Crazy First Week

I remembered it still so vividly, the few days following my daughter's birth were really beyond my expectations.
Of course, I knew about how tired I would be, due to the night feeds, but I found myself pretty overwhelmed because...
1. Breastfeeding Round the Clock
 I didn't know baby would need to be breastfed every one and a half hour.
2. Guests from Near and Afar
I didn't know that I would have that many guests, (my baby was born in the middle of the Hari Raya season, so we had plenty of guests, especially because they also wanted to see my mom who was accompanying me during my confinement).
3. Pushing During Confinement
I had to ensure that my home looked neat and clean every day, as we were expecting guests almost every day for the first two weeks. Despite my confinement, I was actually doing almost all the housework, only at a slower pace.
4. Strangers Who Speak the Darnest Things
I didn't expect people to make personal comments about my body parts, and my efforts trying to breastfeed my baby. The comments came from people whom I wasn't even close to.
5. Baby, Me and Lots of "Baby Experts"
This one really drove me insane. People were literally not giving me and my baby space. There were in my room, right when I needed to rest and bond with my newborn. Yes, they are all giving me advice on how to care for my baby, despite my clear need for rest.
Thank you for the good intention but I would be more comfortable to learn these tips from my mom and mom-in-law, and more gradually over time. I will seek other's opinion when my maternal instinct tells me to.

So, if you are visiting a mom who has just given birth, it's never a good idea to visit too early. The first week is especially crucial for the new mom to rest and bond with baby. Also for the dad too, to adjust to the new responsibilities.
And if you are going to have many guests, lay the ground rules. Maybe it is a good idea to tell them what time they can come to visit you.

The Little One Left

Written in Memory of Baby Talhah (December 2012 - 1st February 2013)

The world turned silent
When you came as a surprise
And when I seemed unprepared
To care for a new life.
The world turned silent
The day you decided to leave
Just when I wanted to get to know you
Counting my days to meet you.
The world turned silent
When you left that morning
You left with no warning
Those hours hard and torturing.
The world turned silent
When will we meet again?
I dream we will hug in Heaven
And I can finally ease this pain.
The world turned silent
For my September baby,
You will still be remembered
As a precious little part of me.

Moments of Gratefulness

Hours of waiting in fear, wondering what will the doctor do or say to you, were over. Now I felt like I was wasting my time, knowing the result already and still having to go through the protocol, so that the doctor has a documentation of my case.
As I continued the waiting game and feeling empty and still shocked, something tells me that I should turn the situation around.
Instead of asking "why did it happen to me?", I should be saying "Thank you, God. You've planned everything so nicely for me, and you always have better plans for me for whatever that you've taken from me."
I should be grateful for whatever results God has given. It is the best that suits me, and it already encompasses whatever I need.

Talhah

Today you left us as God has a better place for you. Although I only carried you for a month, I am grateful that this time, unlike the time when I was pregnant with your eldest sibling, I was able to feel your presence. I thought I will be able to cuddle and nurse you. But God wants us to meet later, in a better location, not in the environment of the aging Earth. Perhaps you can also feel that Mommy has been complaining a lot about the quality of living now. And God has made the best choice for us.

I can imagine you already with Kautsar, in the Gardens of Paradise. Tell Kautsar Mommy will come soon. Mommy can't wait to see the both of you and love you very much.