Full Time Working Mom Story - Cold Hearted Career Minded?

As a mom sets out to work, the heavy feeling of leaving her crying infant plagues her. She will no longer be able to be by her little child's side as she had been doing for the past 3 months, since giving birth.

She also knows that her baby will not take expressed milk and wonders what will happen 2 hours later after she has gone, and the baby starts to cry for milk. The worry is so apparent on her face, and she looks down and frown, feeling the guilt of being perhaps a selfish mom.

She quickly turns cold hearted and reminds herself that she needs to return to the office to ensure operations are running smoothly, and produce top-notch results. And she needs to have a stable income, to make sure there is enough to feed, clothe, educate and yes, a little to pamper the apple of her eye. Modern living gets too expensive for her to just accept a single breadwinner income.

So...she heads for work, with determination and hope for a bright future for her kids, a life so  much better than what she is having now.

Life at work is not easy, with standards set high, standards that the single men and ladies, or couples with no children yet can achieve with fewer qualms, than the mom who has her motherhood responsibilities 24-7 on her shoulders.

This mom however aspires to also rise up to the challenge and proves that being a mother does not affect the quality of her job. Yes, she pushed herself, close to the point of insanity. Her mind's set for success...

Oops, sometimes she falters and forgets that her kids will be waiting for her return. She forgets that the little child sitting on her lap needs her attention, while her mind wanders off to business matters unfulfilled at work.

The feeling of guilt resurfaces and she knows she needs to make it up to her kids. Mom's so sorry, darlings. We'll play together tomorrow...

Are your kids happy with you? Are your kids still looking up to you as their mom, and want to be close to you? Even when you have a caretaker, your kids will prefer sitting close to you than the caretaker?

Appreciate the feelings of guilt. It shows that God has blessed you and your kids with a very strong emotional bond.

Appreciate that your little children cry or throw tantrums whenever you leave for work. It shows that they are perfectly normal kids, and they enjoy being with you so much that they hate even your short disappearance.

Appreciate the dual working mom roles that you are playing, because your contribution now takes a wider scope, and if you are sincere in your daily tasks, you will be duly rewarded within the tangible and the intangible realms.

Moms, accept the hard realities of being a working mom and just enjoy the fuss. Droopy eyelids, crows feet, laugh lines and greying hair... Let's just...
Breathe...

Oh, wait a minute... Look! You are the people who will be changing the world!

Self Reinforcement of a Full Time Working Mom

1. I am working to bring goodness to the family, not only in terms of financial gain, but also knowledge gain.

2. I will make time to be with my children, and will guide them for as much as I can, in my presence or absence (enrolling them in meaningful classes or activities).

3. The helper I have chosen is helping me to look after my kids. But she will not be expected to be perfect. I will need to teach her the things she can to improve her caretaker skills.

4. To ensure the day goes smoothly, I will plan more systematically and more frequently to prepare for important events. My plan must be scheduled around my kids, e.g. Nap time is part of routine, as they need adequate rest.

5. I am responsible for ensuring that resources are not wasted. I will buy bulk purchases and use discounts in order to save some of the monthly budget. I will not spend on anything that does not fall under the Needs category, but will set aside some budget once a week for a family outing.

6. I will exercise at least twice a week, and will encourage others to do the same.

7. I will learn a new skill each month and teach my kids if relevant.

How Do You Keep Your Sanity and Dignity as a Full Time Working Mom

When office duty called over two weekends, I thought that I wouldn't have enough time for a fulfilling activity with my two busy tots.

Or that I wouldn't have time to complete the extra office task that I had brought home.

But things went better than expected. I managed to bring the kids to a waterplay area near our home, and also did some retail therapy with the kids plus played with them the toys they have bought later that evening.

The day culminated with everyone feeling satisfied and I even managed to complete the office task when the kids were asleep.

What kept me in momentum was the priorities of my day's tasks, and to set a lower expectation of what I can achieve that day, especially considering the kids' temperament that day. On a good day, my kids will want to sit in their pram and I will be able to do my purchases faster than if they decided to walk and control where they want to go.

I also made sure that I do something that will make me happy - bought my favourite cupcakes and savoured the taste slowly.

But what I forgot to do was to check the time when I was finishing my office task that night. Yes, I got carried away and ended up feeling sleep-deprived the next day.

Your Sanity

Lesson 1. ;-) Plan your task and prioritise.

Lesson 2. ;-) Set lower expectations when managing time. You are juggling between the unpredictable events in motherhood and the always-urgent office duties. This is no easy feat but you will soon master your own unique time management strategy.

Lesson 3. :-) Keep happy, via the joyful little things.

Your Dignity

Lesson  1. Plan your leave days in advance so you can participate in your kids' school events, and establish better rapport with the teachers.

Lesson 2. Have some interesting snacks and toys handy whenever you bring them out. So these can be used as distraction in episodes of crying tantrums.

Lesson 3. Do not entertain people who have zero tolerance for your kid's antics, provided your kids are not doing dangerous activities.

May Success be with you...